Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
