Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
