she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
