i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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