I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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