Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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