; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
