I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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