It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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