I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
