just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
