This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
