____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
