So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
