he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
