Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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