Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
