So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
