is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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