Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
