And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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