sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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