also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
