Umm I'm too high to move.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
