Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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