someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
