I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
