Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
