found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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