First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
