I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
