dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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