I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
