I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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