Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
