I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
