I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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