Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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