I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
