I am puke
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
