Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
