So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
