I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
