okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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