Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
