i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
