new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
