question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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