my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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