we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
