dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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