I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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