it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
