Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
